


Love Letters

by sciencemyfiction



Category: Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII
Genre: Aerith's letters to Zack, Gen, an old fic I found, knowledge of Crisis Core recommended but not required
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2008-04-07
Updated: 2008-04-07
Packaged: 2021-03-10 17:09:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,333
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28210695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sciencemyfiction/pseuds/sciencemyfiction
Summary: Aerith's unsent letters in the five years between Nibelheim and knowing the truth.
Relationships: Zack Fair/Aerith Gainsborough
Comments: 1
Kudos: 1





	Love Letters

**1**  
  
_Dear Zack_ , she writes, a month after their last phone call, when Tseng first gets that terribly grim look on his face that suggests something bad has happened. _This is my first letter to you. I would just give you a call, but since we last spoke, you haven't been answering._  
  
It's quiet in the church, and the smell of flowers and soil makes her feel at home, safe. Almost, she can imagine that he'll walk up behind her while she's still writing. _I know, you're probably busy. But this way if you have the time, you can think of me while you read this, and I won't feel so jealous of those lucky boys you're away at work with.  
  
I hope you're feeling well! You sounded tired when we talked. Get some rest, SOLDIER 1st class! I'll write you again later.  
  
Tseng said he'll bring my letters to you, so I'll be expecting a reply once he tracks you down. Love, Aerith._  
  
She sighs when she writes that-- but then, it's no secret that she likes him, is it?-- and can't help feeling a little embarrassed. Will the Turks be reading her mail? Reno would. And then he'd tease her. It's always bad enough when he's the one on-duty, watching her. Still, she can't help thinking that's got to be pretty foolish. Surely even Reno has better things to do than read her letters. That's what she tells herself, as she folds up the paper, and folds it again and wonders idly if she should bother addressing the envelope.  
  
Knowing Zack, she won't get an answer until he gets back anyway, huh?  
  
**2**  
  
_Dear Zack,_ she's sitting on the slide in the park, with the flower cart empty and the chill of true-night seeping down through the plate. _It's been two months since I last saw you. From now on, I'm going to write you every week. Maybe if I keep pestering you with letters, you'll come back sooner. Tseng hasn't been very talkative lately, but Reno is usually on duty, this month. The kids and I threw a lot of water balloons at him the other day, to get him to leave me alone for a little while. You know, the flowers are working out pretty well!  
  
It's too bad you didn't build me a better wagon before you left. I'll just have to work with you to make a new one when you get back. You'd better not be lost in the mountains or something silly, mister. That would be just like you! Anyway, I need to get home. I was just thinking about you, so here I am. I hope you're doing all right.  
  
Love, Aerith._ It doesn't make her blush to write it this time, but she can't help folding the letter up the same way, and when she catches sight of Reno, lingering in the corner and watching her with an expression somewhere between mild irritation and vague amusement, she sticks out her tongue at him. "Peeping tom. I thought you'd be busy drying off for a while longer."  
  
If there is a way to describe Reno with a single word and no exaggeration, that word is definitely "sleaze". So as he sleazes his way from the shadows over to the foot of the slide, smirking at her idly, she can't help wanting to back away. The trouble with that is that by being at the top of the slide, she doesn't have much of anywhere to go. In her hands, the letter makes a crunching sound as she grips it tighter; it's not that she feels threatened. It's that this isn't for him to see. If he tries to take it-- why, she'd probably beat him up.   
  
"Is that any way to talk to someone who's keepin' an eye on you for your own safety?"   
  
He gives her a look that, perhaps, was intended to look pouty. As with most things Reno, it ends up more of a leer by the time it is successfully executed.  
  
"Anyhow, it's dark out so's I thought maybe you'd want an escort home."  
  
"I'm fine." If she wasn't sure he'd use it as a chance to grope around, she'd use the slide just to come down faster than he could run off, and knock him over. As it is, she descends via the ladder in the back with a long-suffering sigh. "But, Reno-- could you take something to Tseng for me?"  
  
"Something?" He meets her on the other side, and manages to make it seem as though he'd been looking up her skirt while she climbed down. It's an effort to appear unperturbed. Somehow, Reno makes her uncomfortable, unhappy, makes her question why it is the Turks are looking after her. Tseng has an honest, a kind face, even if he _is_ too serious. Reno's face is never friendly, and though he doesn't frighten her, he doesn't reassure her, either. "So is it booze? Porn? I don't really do carrier service for free, you know. You might wanna throw in some of the booze-porn or the porn-booze to make sure your item is delivered safely."  
  
Anything would be better than giving Reno this responsibility. Including maybe smacking him upside the head, though she doesn't really approve of violence and besides which, she's pretty sure she'd regret it if she attacked him. In the end, he's the one assigned to her today, and the letter can't get sent if she doesn't give it to someone with access to the outside world. "No, it's-- a letter." Better him than nothing.  
  
"A letter?" There's a teasing look in his eye that makes her feel stubborn and uncomfortable, but she firms her jaw and clenches her hands and glowers up at him. (She doesn't quite stamp her foot, but only by virtue of just barely stopping herself in time.)  
  
"Yes. Tseng said he'd deliver it for me, but since you're the one who's been around lately..."  
  
He holds out his hand to take it, and looks like he's going to laugh at her. "Is it for your boy~friend?" Oh, Reno could make fun of her forever no matter what her answer is, but there's no reason not to tell him the truth. Maybe he'll read her letter, but it's not like anything much will be waiting for him there, is it?  
  
So she says, " _Yes._ And I can't give it to him myself, so."  
  
Reno laughs, and makes a grabbing motion with his outstretched hand. "All riiiight, give me the letter then and I'll give it to Tseng and he can deliver it for you." He squints at her, frowning. "Only next time, it's going to cost you some booze, at the very least, because I am a busy, busy Turk and can't be bothered with silly errands like mail-carrying for free."  
  
But he does take it, and he doesn't read it-- at least, not while she can still see him-- and she decided to trust him this time around, so the next time she's writing, she plans ahead and brings a bottle of beer with her to give to him as postage.  
  
**30**  
  
_Dear Zack,  
  
I haven't seen you in almost a year. It's spring here. You can't tell by looking at Midgar, of course, except the flowers are blooming in the church, so I know, even though you can hardly hear the world from inside this place. I know this will sound crazy, but I can feel that you're not dead. You're out there but you're further away than you ever were before, and I miss you. I hope you feel guilty, putting me through so much worry! Everyone else believes what they hear around here, so sometimes I even doubt myself.  
  
How is that friend of yours that you told me so much about, before? The country boy who reminded you of why you joined ShinRa in the first place-- what was his name again? I hope that he's out there with you, so I know that you have some good company. Tseng tells me that you've been officially announced as killed in action, along with that war-hero, Sephiroth, but when I told him I was going to write my next letter, he seemed relieved. I don't know why he can't tell me where you are, or what's happening to you, but he has all of my letters for you. I'm going to make sure you read every single one of them when you get home.  
  
I'm sorry we never went on a proper date before you left. I had so much fun spending time with you whenever you were around, and I was worried if we called it an official date instead of just doing things you would do on a date, you might disappear, like my mom's husband did when he went away to the war. It's silly, isn't it? There isn't even a war going on right now.  
  
I hope you're thinking about me, where ever you are.  
  
Love, Aerith._  
  
She looks up and Reno grins nonchalantly, holding out one hand for the letter and the other for the bottle of beer. "I like lager, by the way," he informs her, with a smug wink as she rolls her eyes at him.  
  
"That's more expensive."  
  
"Well, I'll give you some money to buy it, then." He frowns, seeming to note the irony of paying her to pay him, but doesn't retract the statement. Instead, he gives her a look filled with scheming. "Bet a pretty girl like you is great at getting discounts at the bar, right~?"  
  
He doesn't get any further than that, because she's laughing. But it's good to laugh; and maybe, even if she knows that she's in more of a willing prison than a safehouse from the monsters of the world, she feels better knowing that Zack will know where she is when he comes back, and have no trouble at all, finding her.  
  
**53**  
  
_Dear Zack,  
  
I hope you're having nice dreams of me somewhere. You know, most girls would have given up after two years; but then, I guess most girls wouldn't be able to hear the flowers talking, or be as sure as I am that you're still out there, still alive.  
  
I hope you haven't forgotten about me. I wish that, while you were still here, I had told you all the things I wanted to tell you.  
  
I hope you read my list of wishes before whatever happened in Nibelheim happened. I hope you know that I love you and want to spend more time with you. I hope you want to come back home as much as I want you to. Gosh, this letter is the silliest one yet, isn't it?  
  
I've been paying Reno in lager and beer to deliver these to Tseng, lately. If you notice any stains on them, don't worry, Reno promised me he isn't reading them. He hasn't made any Freudian slips, either, so I'm pretty sure he's telling the truth!  
  
Take care, Zack. Hurry home.  
  
Love, Aerith._  
  
It's become a ritual by now, paying off Reno with a bottle of beer and then escorting him to the ShinRa building, while he drinks and talks, lets her know all the latest juicy gossip. "That Kunsel guy's as hot for old Soldier Fair as you, sometimes. He goes on and on about it in the halls, lately he's been demanding to know if the Turks know anything about it." He snorts, laughing derisively. "Loser. No offense. I mean, being a girlfriend and writing letters is way less pathetic than being a buddy and freaking out, you know? Oh yeah, and Scarlet slept her way into the President's room last night, rumor has it."  
  
"What about the new girl?" She asks, remembering something he'd mentioned two days before. "The one in training who's been outshining all your other potential recruits?"  
  
"What, that Elena girl? She just wants in Tseng's pants, probably." He grins, a crooked, wicked grin, and while she's never thought of Reno as friendly, maybe to some degree Aerith's come to think of him as a very weird, very part-time friend. "Which, by the way, fit me just fine. I didn't want to do laundry so I took a spare pair of his from Uniforms. He'll probably have noticed by the time I get back."  
  
He poses, assuming a mockery of Tseng's serious face and perfect posture-- it's disconcerting, since Reno is always slouching, otherwise.  
  
"There, how do I look? More stylish? Sexy?"  
  
"You look ridiculous," she laughs, shaking her head. "Tseng will be mad at you, I'm sure. If I don't see you around tomorrow I guess I'll know the consequences were serious?"  
  
"Guess so!" he quips, unfazed and unfrightened; for a moment, she wishes he was a little bit more like that, all the time, but it passes. He's not much like Zack, really, at all. The desire to be a hero is probably as foreign to him as the tongue they speak in Wutai. "Guess so. I'll see ya!"  
  
He walks on, and she waits there, at the edge of Sector Eight, looking up at the ShinRa building and wondering why Zack isn't somewhere in there, too.  
  
**77**  
  
_Dear Zack,  
  
I had a dream last night about being outside, under the real sky. It was a little scary for me; I know you don't feel the same way, but I felt like it was sucking me up, and stealing me away forever. I felt like I'd fly right off of the face of the Planet if I wasn't too careful, and you weren't there to keep me in place.  
  
You _were _in the dream, though, and I guess that was the scariest part. I was someplace cool and dark, and the sky was starry and yawning down at me, and just when I started to fall away up into it, you were there in the sky, reaching out to catch me.  
  
I wish you were here. I wanted someone to hold me when I woke up. I still want someone to hold me, but I don't want to settle for anyone but you.  
  
I miss you. Rude will be delivering my letters from now on, since Reno is away on a training mission with the new girl in the Turks, Elena. I think he's lonely, so it kind of feels nice to be around him, since I feel lonely too.  
  
Love, Aerith._  
  
Rude has simply been sitting patiently in front of her since she started writing on his back. It's so strange and different, to be under surveillance with someone who makes no secret of the fact that he's watching her, but says almost nothing, despite being a constant presence. They're in Sector 6, outside of the HoneyBee Inn, and he's standing in front of her both to offer a flat surface to write on and to keep the desperate men who want to buy flowers from her at bay.  
  
When she caps her pen and begins folding up the letter, he glances over his shoulder at her, eyebrow raised in silent query, his eyes hidden behind those omnipresent sunglasses of his. She nods, and he braces himself for the weight as she jumps onto his back, to piggy-back ride home in Sector 5.  
  
"Thanks, Rude." He shrugs, carefully shifting her weight to be as easy to carry as possible, while still preserving her dignity, despite the fact that she's wearing a skirt and riding his back as if she were a small child. "Will you be able to deliver this for me?"  
  
"Most certainly," he assures her, as he weaves through the crowd still waiting to get into the HoneyBee. It's not a long trip home, but it seems to take a while, and at the last second, she decides she'd rather go to the church than home, anyway.  
  
She tells him so, and he nods, changing course without so much as a second of hesitation. When she gets down, he silently accepts her letter and her thanks, and waits patiently as she fidgets, trying to determine if it's wise or unwise to invite him in for some tea. "It's all I have, but-- if you like tea, that is, you're welcome to join me. It's nice, especially by the flowers."  
  
With that same calculated quietness, he folds his hands and nods to her. "It would be my pleasure."  
  
She wonders if Zack had ever met Rude, but doesn't ask; and while they drink tea together, and she makes what conversation with him that she can, he doesn't mention it.  
  
**89**  
  
She had stopped at eighty-nine letters, and four years, because when she wrote the letter, she had a strange feeling, as if something had started to move. For a few days, she felt a little hopelessly sad; she gave the letter at last not to Tseng, or any of the Turks, but to that strange, winged-creature that had been living in the rafters of the church since Zack had first ordered it to stay there.  
  
When she had asked it _Do you think you know how to find Zack?_ , and waited for its response, it had surprised her. Its response had begun with it shifting nervously from paw to paw for a moment, sniffing the air and circling slowly, its tail waggling from side to side with a resigned sort of hesitance. Almost as if, she had thought, it was excited at the prospect but unsure of its answer, its ability to do as she asked. Then it had smelled _something_ , and begun barking excitedly at her, flapping its wings and nosing her hand as if to request that she entrust it with her letter immediately, so it could be on its way.  
  
That had been three weeks ago, and ever since she'd felt an increasing sense of pressure from the world around her, as though something important, something huge was about to happen; today, it's easing, and she feels at last like she can breathe. The pressure is not so bad and as foolish as it is-- even though she told herself that she's not going to hope past eight-nine letters for his return-- she feels as though Zack is coming to Midgar, as though he's everywhere around, playing with the kids and helping her to sell flowers, showing off to impress her and brightening Midgar with his optimism as much as she has with her flowers.  
  
But that's silly, because he hasn't come back already for four years and almost a month, now. So she tries to talk herself out of it, since that feeling of pressure that was worrying her before is already gone, since the feeling of _something coming_ is hardly as strong as her belief that, while he isn't with her, for some reason, Zack is still alive. She spends the next month in a bit of a daze, busily trying to tell herself she needs to let go and move on; trying to focus on the here-and-now, and not the memory of standing close to him in the park.  
  
It's four years, three months and a day when suddenly it starts raining. Raining so hard that it comes down through the plates and pours through the torn-open roof of the church where she's standing. Raining like the world itself is sick of Midgar, and throwing what little it can at the gates that surround its black walls to try to rust them away.  
  
That's the moment when she knows that Zack isn't coming back anymore; And that's the day she sits down and writes:  
  
_Dear Zack,  
  
You have a lot to explain when I get there. I hope that you'll wait for me. I hope that you'll tell me everything.  
  
I love you.  
  
-Aerith._  
  
That letter stays behind in the church, under the bed of flowers, shaded by their leaves where not even Reno would think to look for it.


End file.
